Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
