They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Randomize
