why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
