Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
