He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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