Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
