I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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