i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
