Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
love makes seman taste better
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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