So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
