OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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