This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
