I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
