ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
