How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
