are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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