And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize