I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
