When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
