So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
