Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I want her autograph on my taint
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
