For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
