Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
