I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
