I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Fuck appropriateness.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
