You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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