forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
