I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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