There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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