We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
