Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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