you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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