As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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