he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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