mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
