I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
