I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am one with the molecules
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
