Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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