2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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