i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
