bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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