Heybabeimwearingurpanties
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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