You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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