My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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