That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
