wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
