Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
