I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
