That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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