oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
