Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
