you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
