I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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