was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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