I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
