just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
