It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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