Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
dude. I can hear the air.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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