He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
