I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
