Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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